“What I’ve learned from Opera.”
Compiled by music students, including yours truly, using the ultimate powers of term-paper procrastination (the most highly motivating creative force on earth). It seems like some operas have some interesting messages to convey… Silly, yes… but I hope you enjoy. :-)
Flying Dutchman: Being a fan girl will get you killed
La Boheme: Being an Artist NEVER PAYS, Kids, and get that cough checked out
Don Giovanni: Womanizers will go to hell.
Lakme: Interracial love is doomed to failure and suicide.
Cosi: Italians are Slutty.
Samson et Dalila: Never trust a woman, no matter how hot she is.
Tosca: When the Tenor is a Pansy, the Soprano will man up and kill the bad guy.
Carmen: Tenors should stay away from Mezzos. No, for real.
Aida: If you hold out for love, you will die in a vault
Il Trovatore: Gypsy curses are a bitch.
La Traviata: Happy Women will Die Painfully.
Turandot: What’s in a name? Also… racism.
The Magic Flute: Join the Masons, Bro!
The Ballad of Baby Doe: Money won’t make you happy, but infidelity will.
Porgy and Bess: American Opera is valid TOO!
The Pearl Fishers: DUDE! Bros before Hos. Or else.
Madama Butterfly: Xenophobia is the right choice.
Pagliacci: ::sad clown face::
Rigoletto: Ugly dudes can have hot daughters too.
Elixir of Love: Sitcoms are older than you think.
Einstein on the Beach: ??????????????????
l’Enfant et les Sortileges: Parents, please: talk to your kids about drugs.
Wozzeck: Absence of Tonality makes people cranky.
Onegin/Prince Igor/Boris Goudunov: Being Russian is hard
Ring Cycle: Who needs Tolkein? Lord of the Rings: Now with more incest!
The Marriage of Figaro: Servants are way smarter than you.
Xerxes: Arranged marriage BAD. Tree PRETTY.
Don Pasquale: It’s okay to swindle old men if you’re in love.
Lucia di Lammermoor : Don’t tell the women in your family who they can and cannot marry. (See also: Hamlet)
Did we forget anything? Feel free to comment!
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